Episode 460 – Frank Anthony Polito’s Cozy Haunted House Mystery

Aug 12, 2024

Cozy Mystery Month begins with author Frank Anthony Polito as he talks about Haunted to Death, the third book in the Domestic Partners in Crime series. Frank discusses mixing a cozy mystery with a haunted house story, the fun of writing PJ and JP, and how the story draws inspiration from where he lives. We also get some details on what he’s got planned for a fourth book, along with some reading and listening recommendations.

Look for the next episode of Big Gay Fiction Podcast on Monday, August 26.

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Show Notes

Here are the things we talk about in this episode. Please note, these links include affiliate links for which we may make a small commission at no extra cost to you should you make a purchase. These links are current at the time the episode premieres, however links are subject to change.

Transcript 

This transcript was made possible by our community on Patreon. You can get information on how to join them at patreon.com/biggayfictionpodcast.

Intro

Jeff: Coming up on this episode, we’re kicking off cozy mystery month with Frank Anthony Polito and his latest “Haunted to Death.”

Hello, Rainbow Romance Reader. Welcome to episode 460 of the Big Gay Fiction Podcast, the show for avid readers and passionate fans of queer romance fiction. I’m Jeff, and it’s great to have you here for another episode.

As always, the podcast is brought to you in part by our remarkable community on Patreon. If you’d like more information about what we offer to patrons, including the opportunity to ask questions to our guests, just like Se does in this episode, go to patreon.com/biggayfictionpodcast.

So why cozy mystery month you might ask. Well, honestly, I mean, why not? There’s something comforting about cozy mysteries and it’s right in the name itself. Settling in with some fun characters who aren’t detectives, doing detective work to find out who’s causing mischief and maybe even killing people. There’s usually some cute dogs or other pets along for the ride too. Cozies can be such a refreshing way to spend reading time. I’ve certainly found that recently as I dove into a couple of cozy mysteries that I just really loved. In fact, we focused on cozy as a couple of years ago with a panel discussion on the topic, and it really seemed like a great time to come back to it now.

And we’re starting things off with Frank Anthony Polito. Now Frank was here for the panel discussion just as his first cozy was coming out with “Renovated to Death,” and he’s back now with the third book called “Haunted to Death.” And this is such a fun book as it brings back PJ and JP who are the Domestic Partners. That’s the name of their home renovation show that they’ve got on an HGTV-type network. And this time out, they’re actually renovating an old manor house where a murder took place 25 years ago. And it’s a house that might be haunted. Maybe?

It was really wonderful coming back to PJ and JP. And this mystery that has a few things going on in it. There’s the mystery to solve over how an heiress to an automotive empire was killed on her 25th birthday some 25 years ago, but there’s also the question of is this house haunted or not? JP and PJ are renovating this on behalf of the new owner of the house who happens to be family to that automotive heiress who was killed. So, she’s also curious to know, who killed this person?

And besides those two elements, we actually get to see the partners now working on their TV show too, as they’re doing the renovation on this manor house. And I just love that because I do love a good HGTV show. And in fact these two kind of remind me in some ways of Evan and Keith from “Bargain Block.” So it was really fun to watch all that play out in the story as well.

I love how Frank weaved everything together in this book into a terrific page turning story, which is even more timely as we get closer to fall and the Halloween season. You’re gonna hear more about what I loved about this book as Frank and I talk. So I’m gonna get us right into the interview. Not only do we find out about all the goings on in “Haunted to Death” and how Frank brought all these elements together, he’s also gonna talk about narrating his own audio books. And we get a little tease about what he’s got in mind for the fourth book in the “Domestic Partners in Crime” series.

Frank Anthony Polito Interview

Jeff: Frank, welcome back to the podcast. It is wonderful to have you here again.

Frank: Thank you. It’s good to see you. And thank you for having me back. I appreciate it.

Jeff: Absolutely. We’ve gotta talk about this series, “Domestic Partners in Crime” a little bit more. You were here a little over two years ago now, in episode 387, in June of ’22 on our cozy mystery panel.

Frank: Yeah. And this is the first June Pride I haven’t had a book released. Every book I’ve written has come out in June and it’s always a great Pride month. And I’ve been watching all the Pride stories and all the posts and I’m like, but I don’t have anything to talk about because my book doesn’t come out until August.

Jeff: There’s a good reason for it to be fall cause it’s a spooky book with “Haunted to Death.” A little spooky element to the mystery. So I kind of get why it was nearer to the spooky season. But before we talk about the new book, which is so much fun, for those who may not have picked up the series yet or maybe didn’t catch you on the show the first time, tell folks about the “Domestic Partners in Crime” series.

Frank: Yes, it’s “Domestic Partners in Crime”. The first book here is “Renovated to Death” and the basic plot, it’s a queer millennial couple, PJ and JP. And PJ is a writer and JP is an actor, and they leave New York City to move to the Detroit suburbs of Pleasant Woods where they buy a house that they renovate on their own home renovation TV show, “Domestic Partners.”

And when the first book, “Renovated to Death,” opens they’re in between seasons. They’re getting ready to kick off season two, and they find the perfect house to renovate, tudor revival, right down the block, that’s been sitting empty, by a pair of gay twin brothers. And they agree to fix up the house. And then one of the twin brothers ends up dead at the bottom of the rickety old staircase. And because they live in this historic quaint little suburb where no one has ever been murdered ever, the police write it off as a unfortunate accident. Trip and fall, broke his neck. But the partners realized that there’s a little bit more going on and then they set out to solve the mystery.

And then in book two, “Rehearsed to Death,” this lovely yellow cover here, it’s the following winter. The first book takes place in the summer. It’s the following winter. They’re on hiatus from the show. PJ, the writer, has a play that he’s written that’s being performed at the local community theater and JP, the actor, is starring in it.

And from the get go, things do not go well. They have a meeting with the director. He hasn’t even read the script. He’s a British, pompous, arrogant sort of chap. And he likes to, because it’s winter, he wears a Burberry cashmere scarf wrapped around his neck that he throws over his shoulder in a jaunty way. And he and PJ, the writer, do not get along from the get go.

And then one night the director is found strangled to death on stage. There’s an old fan that he likes to run cause he doesn’t wanna break a sweat. And it’s one of those metal ones where there’s hardly any kind of blade guard on it. And he’s in a chair with his scarf wrapped around his neck, caught in the other end of the fan. The police write it off as an accident even though there was just a murder six months earlier. And then PJ and JP decide that there’s more going on. And also if they don’t find out who murdered their director, the play might be canceled. And they have plans, hopes, and dreams to take the show to Broadway so they can go back to New York.

It’s a quaint little town with a cast of characters, based on a lot of people that I know that live on my very block. And it’s been a lot of fun.

The problem is, book one is great. I actually sold out the advance and got my first royalty check, which it doesn’t happen a lot. And then I was informed recently by my publisher that book two did not sell well and because of that fact, book three might very well be the last book in the series even though it hasn’t gone on sale yet. I was basically told, “Well, we have to wait and see how book three does before we can offer you a book four.”

And I’ve actually already written book four. It’s called “Dragged to Death.” The partners take part in a charity drag show extravaganza. It’s already written. I can’t bear the thought of just letting it sit in a file on my computer and not share it with you all. So part of the reason I’m here today is to say, if you’ve read book one or two and you enjoyed it, please pick up book three. If you haven’t read either of them, but based on what you hear today, you might be interested, please pick up book three, then pick up book two. You don’t have to pick up book one because I’ve already sold out the advance. But it would be great if you wanna see how things get started?

Jeff: And hopefully they’re gonna do this because these books are just pure cozy mystery awesomeness there. And you left off two of your key characters cause you’ve got dogs here too. There are corgis in this book.

Frank: There are two dogs Jack and Clyde, and they’re actually here. They’re actually… I put ’em in the backyard, but they are my actual dogs, Jack and Clyde, because we write what we know. And every cozy mystery needs to have a dog or a cat or some sort of furry creature to give you a B plot and be all warm and fuzzy.

Jeff: You mentioned you write about people on your block. Do they know that they’re part of your murder mysteries?

Frank: I suspect that they do. I’m not very subtle. Or I don’t do a very good job of hiding things because reality is much better than anything you can make up. I do have one character though, who lives down the street. We live on a street called Fairwood and his name is Rob and everyone calls him Fairwood Rob.

And in my book, they live on a street called Fairway and there’s a guy named Bob and everyone calls him Fairway Bob. Unfortunately, or when I wrote this proposal for my editor, and he said, “You have a lot of gay characters living on this street.” And I said, “Well, we have 12 houses on our block and seven of them are owned by gay couples.” And he said, “Well, could you maybe make a couple of them straight?” So now poor Fairway Bob is a straight fellow, but he presents as metrosexual, I guess, we used to call it. So, I don’t know if I was Fairway Bob and I got de-gayed, I might be a little insulted.

Jeff: Right. There’s something going on there. That could be a mystery on its own.

There’s more similarities too, as you keep pulling from your life cause you’re a writer, your partner is an actor, so there’s a lot of PJ and JP sitting right there with you two too it sounds like.

Frank: Yes. And the play that they actually produced in book two is called “Blue Tuesday,” and it’s actually a play that I wrote called “Blue Tuesday” that my partner and I actually both acted in New York when we lived there many, many years ago. Because again, to try to make up a play and dialogue and fit it in, I’ve got enough on my plate. So, put it in there and maybe someone will read the book and say, “This play sounds kind of interesting. Is there a real script that I can read?” And I will say, “Well, yes, there is. There you go.” It’s all shameless promotional publicity, but we have to do it because no one else is going to.

Jeff: Absolutely.

So you’ve got the new book, “Haunted to Death,” coming out for the fall spooky season. Show everybody the cool orange cover.

Frank: This is the ARC. And I love these covers. They actually commissioned an artist to do all of these. And I’ve never actually… before it’s always been stock photos that they find. So to have them actually commission an artist to give me this unique cover that no one else can have they’re really great. And they ask my input and I drew a little mock-up drawing and then it usually doesn’t look anything like what I drew, but it ends up being great. And like you said, this one comes out on August 20th. It’s technically a September title and just in time for Halloween.

Jeff: Yeah. It has all the good spooky things that you want going on cause you do have a haunted house in play here. So what are JP and PJ up to this time out?

Frank: Well, this time around they are renovating the oldest house in Pleasant Woods. It’s a 1913 historic manor home, located on the west side of town deep within the woods of Pleasant Woods. It was originally owned by the Woods family, who the town is named after. And it is currently owned by a young woman. Her name is Fiona and her fiancé Finn. And they are members of sort of an indie band, a lo-fi music indie band. And Fiona inherited the house when she turned 25 because she found out that she was the long lost daughter of the couple who lived there 25 years ago. And her mother was an automotive heiress and beauty queen who, on Halloween night of her 25th birthday, at a big party, with all of the towns folk, accidentally, in quotes, fell off the third floor balcony during the middle of the party and plunged to her death.

And of course, because it was 1997 and no one had ever been murdered in Pleasant Woods, the police wrote it off as an accident. Or was it the fact that her husband belonged to the Woods family, the rich and powerful Woods family, and they covered it up? So I have sort of two mysteries. One, did Fiona’s mother actually slip and fall off the balcony or was she murdered? If so, by whom? And is the house really haunted because the house has been known to be haunted and we don’t know if it’s actually haunted by Fiona’s mother’s ghost, or is it like a Scooby-Doo kind of a thing?

And so it’s very fun. And it’s not horror by any means. It’s cozy horror. It’s bookcases that turn, that spin around that reveal secret passageways. There’s a scene where one of the dogs jumps up onto a chair in the hallway and then the wall spins around and they go inside. Pictures with a portrait of Fiona’s mother with the eyes that look like they move or is someone behind it, secretly watching them? I really did take my inspiration from “Scooby-Doo,” I think that whole opening.

Jeff: There’s so many things here that I found interesting, and not the least of which is we’ve got a cozy mystery here that… usually the body is on the ground somewhere. We all get to look at it. But here we’re trying to solve a mystery that’s 25, 30 years in the past. How did that kind of play out for your cozy mystery duo to kind of dig into that? But also this haunted house thing that’s certainly not dead body related?

Frank: I have this habit, and I noticed I did it in both my first two books, where I like to give a lot of back… not backstory… but I read cozy mysteries where there’s a dead body on page one or there’s a dead body by the end of the first chapter. And I’ve felt when I read those, I almost don’t care about the murder victim because I didn’t learn anything about them.

So I have intentionally written the first two books where it’s like page 80, I think, before someone dies. And some people complain about that. It’s taking forever. It’s taking forever. But like with that terrible director, I wanna show my reader all the terrible things that he does to make the reader hate him so that when he dies, there’s a little bit of a “yes” moment.

So in this book I intentionally try to get the body in there early. And so I have a flashback scene where I show Fiona’s mother falling to her death at the Halloween party right in the opening chapter. And then it propels the story forward. And what I do in all of the books actually, is I have someone that loved the victim, or who cared about the victim, plead to them, “could you please help me find out who killed my loved one?” And PJ, who is based on me, is very empathetic and says, “If it was my mother, I would want to know what happened to her.” For, this story, and all the stories, it’s his personal connection to the person who is the loved one of the victim.

And so I use that to sort of push the story forward and then they get into renovating. One of the things I did in this book, I want them to talk about… I didn’t do in book one. And if I really could rewrite book one, I would because in this book I show the TV show. I show them filming the TV show. They’re not on hiatus, they’re not in between seasons. They’re actually in the TV show. So we get to see finally their producer director, her name is Ursula. We get to see the cameraman. We get to see the sound guy. We get to see how the show operates.

We get to see them take one, and then they do it. And then PJ messes up a line because he’s not a trained actor. And the thing is that we all watch home renovation shows because we wanna see that. But I kind of shied away from it in the first book because it’s such a visual medium. I was like, how do I write about people like refinishing woodwork? That’s so boring. So at least in this one, they’re renovating this haunted house and they’re trying to return it to its original splendor.

And so I get to show it in all its worst of the nineties, as I call it, as that was the last time it had any kind of renovation done to it. And then, just propel the story forward of them finding all of the trap doors, and learning about the hidden passageways, and the hidden speakeasy under the garage, and all of the things that make a haunted house fun.

Jeff: I do love the behind the scenes stuff, watching them shoot the show cause that’s just me being kind of like a geek of a sort who likes to see the production stuff happening. And then for you even to bring in like a sister network’s paranormal show with the is this a haunted house or not? I’m just trying to envision that for a “Property Brothers,” HGTV show, bring in the haunted house folks or something. It was so much fun since I watched so much HGTV myself.

Frank: Yeah, exactly. And I don’t know if I mentioned, I’m sure I mentioned when the last time we talked, but my partner and I actually bought our house that I’m standing in right now on the HGTV show “House Hunters.” So like I know all that behind the scenes stuff from being on a show. And so that way I could give a little bit of when they’re like, “That was great. Now can you do it again? But this time could you like say it like this or could you be a little bit crazier?” Cause I was the neurotic one and my partner was the one who always just looked at the camera and rolled his eyes every time I complained about something. And that’s fun for the people and the readers. It’s kinda like outtakes.

Jeff: And even Finn and Fiona and their fame around being these music stars, it’s like, how many times have we watched celebrities either renovate somebody else’s home for something or do a special to get their own place renovated by somebody? It just all felt really comfortable for me because I love watching that kind of thing outside of just reading cozy mysteries anyway.

Do you have designs on being a home renovation person, you and your partner?

Frank: Well, I have been renovating my house, and I say “I” mostly because I’ve done most of the work because I was either not working or I work from home and I just have the time. And I won’t say that Craig and I argue or fight when we try to work together. Like we recently just painted our dining room and like I prepped everything and did all the taping off.

And because we have, you can see behind me we have this natural woodwork that’s not been painted over. And for example, this molding at the top there. It’s a picture rail. It was painted over in every single room when we moved in. And I was like, I’m gonna see if I can get this old paint off. And it was literally one layer of paint. So we know that the guys who lived in the house before us did it cause it’s a pain in the butt to tape it off and do it all. But I went around and I, with a heat gun and a scraper and then stripper, and then this, and then… it was a very long, arduous process and Craig honestly doesn’t have the patience for it. So when we did the dining room, I got everything ready and I primed the wall, but then he actually painted the wall and we had some fun. And we actually didn’t kill each other.

Now I forget what the main question was. Oh, do I have designs on it? But I’m like, yeah, it would be great to have my own home renovation show, like my characters. But I don’t really, I mean… I think I could do some of the stuff. I recently put in a new kitchen sink faucet. But I don’t demo things. I mostly just refinished woodwork and paint. I don’t think I would… Like we need to tile our bathroom and I don’t know if I trust myself to do it or if I have the patience to do it.

But then it’s the… I think the hardest part is actually finding someone to do it. It’s not so much paying someone else to do it, it’s finding the person to do it. But I always say there is something fun about doing it yourself in that you, silly as it sounds, you get to know your house in almost an intimate way. Cause like you’re stripping this one board, and all the wood grain, or all the imperfections in the plaster, and when it’s done, you can step back and be like, “I did this.” As opposed to, “I paid someone to do this for me. Isn’t it beautiful?” But I will say never again.

Jeff: There you go.

And I have to know, since there’s so much in your town, is this house in your town that is Woods Hall.

Frank: There is a house that I used as, I guess, inspiration for lack of a better description. It’s so interesting when I write, and you might do this too, or even when you read, you see it in your head. You see it in your mind, even if you based it on a real place that you’ve seen, it doesn’t look like that. Like this house is on a street and there’s a house next door and there’s a house across the street and it’s not old and decrepit and rundown. It is a 1913 home. But the one in my mind and in my book, it’s like in this isolated woods behind a wrought iron fence. You gotta go on this long gravel drive to get there.

And the one in my mind is a lot bigger. But I did use… I was fortunate enough at the time I was writing the story, the house was for sale. And so I saved pictures off the Zillow listing so that I could see what the living room looked like and what the staircase looked like. Because I will say making up stuff is hard and if I can just see what something really looks like, I can write it down and describe it.

So I took out all the pictures and then when I got to a point where well, I need to have this powder room that the guy is renovating all by himself alone one night in the spooky house, and he is live streaming on Instagram. Well, I’ve seen enough Nicole Curtis to know what a 1920s or 1913 powder room looks like.

And I actually watched some Nicole Curtis because I had a scene where they’re like trying to fix a door that’s sticking. And I found a Nicole Curtis where she was trying to fix a door that was sticking. And I just basically, I won’t say I stole it, but it’s so much easier when you can get a source. And so it’s like I see in my mind, I don’t see the house what it really looks like, I see the version of what’s in my head. But there is a real version.

Like the house that Peter and JP live in is my house. When I describe the house, when I say there’s a 1910 Toby dining table with matching sideboard and four Parkersburg chairs that were procured online from an auction from an antique dealer in Western Pennsylvania. That is all my house. If you read my book and then you come to my house, I want people to see where I live.

The only difference is that I say that their house has a screened in front porch because my house used to have a screen in front porch. I didn’t wanna make it exactly the same.

Jeff: Are you somebody who plots everything out, or are you more of a discovery writer because you… there’s so many elements in this book. I kind of can’t imagine not plotting it out.

Frank: Yeah, I am in that I have a master’s degree in playwriting, so I sort of was taught how to write, and one thing I was taught was you have to write an outline. So I write it all. I get it all out. And then I start writing, and then I might get into a part in the outline where I’m like, okay, this next thing isn’t gonna work. Or it’s months later, and I’m like, oh, well what if this happens? And then I change the outline. And then I literally go in and change the outline and then I have to figure out what’s gonna come next.

But I do. I plot it out and then a lot of times I get lazy and I write a really good outline, and then I… In book one, I’m not going to tell you who is the murderer or why, but that wasn’t my original outline. But I got a little lazy. But then I said, if I ever can write it as a movie or a TV thing, I’ll go back to my original outline. So yes, the answer is I plot it out and then I allow myself to change it if I need to because you make discoveries or literally a character will say something and then you’re like, “Oh, yes. Now I can do this.” That kind of stuff. Or you’re just walking along and an idea hits you and you’re like, “Oh yeah. I should change that.”

Jeff: Was there any aspect of “Haunted to Death” that was kind of more of a challenge to get right on the page, whether it was like a haunted house element or part of the murder backstory or anything?

Frank: Well there was that, like the house. I had to use the pictures and the images and describe it because… And that was actually a house I’ve never been in. That house it’s literally a half a mile from where I live. I didn’t have the luxury of knocking on the front door and saying, “Excuse me. You don’t know me.”

My town is actually very small. There’s only 2,500 people in this town. I’m sure I could have found someone who knows the owners of that house or somehow arranged a meeting. But I didn’t have the luxury of going into that house and looking around. Plus it’s not, like I said, it’s not old and decrepit anyway. It’s very nice. It was a $1.5 million house, which is a lot where I live.

So I had to like really go into my head and use the photographs. That house, I’m assuming, doesn’t have walls that spin around and hidden, secret passage ways. So I had to kind of put myself in the position of the characters and do a lot more thinking. I couldn’t base it on reality cause I’ve never walked through a secret tunnel.

But that was part of the actual fun. Like what would it smell? What would it sound like? But not repeating myself and just making everything the same. I really, really try, even not to use the same word twice on a page or whatever because when I read books, and I can tell certain authors have certain crutches, and certain ways that they always describe things, and I try not to do that. Especially if you’re someone who reads a book straight through, which I know a lot of people do, you would notice even more.

Jeff: Without giving away spoilers, cause we don’t wanna do that otherwise, what’s the point of the mystery? Can you tell us about a favorite scene of yours from the book?

Frank: I actually have two favorite scenes. One of them is when they are filming for the show. And in the earlier books, PJ always talks about how… because JP, the actor partner, is six foot four, 200 pounds, gorgeous. No disrespect to my partner Craig, but he is not six foot four, you know. He played a cop on a TV detective show. Viewers just want… all the viewers who are mostly straight women and gay men wanna always wait for the scene where JP has his shirt off. So there’s a scene where they’re like power washing the outside of the house. And JP’s got the hose and he is up on the scaffolding. And then the PA’s like, “JP, shirt off.” He whips the shirt off, and there he is power washing the house in all his hot glory. So I love that scene.

And then there’s another scene where, because of the B plot, PJ’s mother decides to adopt her own dog after many years of not having one. And she had been their primary caretaker of the dogs whenever they’re like filming a show, or want to go outta town, or whatever. So now they can’t leave the dogs with her because their dogs don’t get along with her dog. And so they have to take the dogs with them to the haunted house. And then there’s a scene that I mentioned earlier where the little one, Jack, jumps up onto a chair and then the wall spins around and then they go into the secret passageway with the two dogs. And I just love the fun of imagining Craig and I with our two dogs, walking through this secret passageway with the dogs. So those happen to be my two favorites.

Jeff: Now we’ve got a question from Se, who is a member of our Patreon community. Se wanted to know if you’re gonna continue to narrate your own books because they absolutely enjoy the book itself and your narrating. How did you get into that to doing your own narration cause that’s rare for authors?

Frank: Well, I appreciate hearing that because I was an actor before I was a writer. That’s how Craig and I met in drama school. And we moved to New York together and we pursued acting careers. And then I got into writing plays. And then he continued with acting. But I always… my first two books that I wrote, there was no market for audio books for gay fiction back then. But the cozy mystery audio book thing is a thing.

So when I wrote the first book, I thought, well… I have to backtrack. My mother, I love her, but she’s not a reader. She tries. She finds herself just reading the same thing over and over again. And she used to always jokingly say, because I would have a book signing and I would read a chapter from the book and she’d say, “Oh, I love the way you read the story. Can’t you just come over and read it to me?” And I would be like, “No, mom. A, I don’t have the time. B, I don’t wanna read a book to you.”

But I do have a friend in New York, an actor friend, who is visually impaired, so she can’t read. So there would be… I would write something, but she couldn’t read it. So I would record it for her, or I would help her put lines on… we call it on tape, back in the day. She had a little micro cassette recorder. So I always would read. And there was this this play called “The Foreigner” by Larry Shue. I’m totally digressing. And years, years ago, like 30 years ago, I wanted her to read this play, but she couldn’t read it. So I read it aloud. But I had been in a production of it. And I literally did all the voices of all the characters based on the actors who had done them in the play that I was in.

So fast forward to now I was like, “Oh, I know they’re gonna do an audio book for this, but I don’t wanna be the kind of actor who’s… or the kind of author who’s ‘I must read my audio book.’ Or, well, I was an actor and maybe I could do the audio book.” But I think somehow I dropped a hint to my publisher and and they were like, “Well, that’s a great idea because people like it when the author actually reads the book if they can do a decent job at it.”

And so I had to do a little audition for the audio company and I read a little scene. And I had never really listened to audio books, so I assumed I couldn’t just read it like the way I would read it at a reading. And I heard a few where the author did some character voices. So I was like, “Well shoot, now I have to come up with all these character voices.” So of course PJ, who’s based on me, is going to have my voice, but I’m gonna slightly pitch it up like this. And then JP, who’s the more butch of the two, is gonna have a little bit of a lower register. And then I was just like, “Oh man, now I have to come up with all these voices.” I haven’t really listened to it since I recorded it. But what I have heard is I feel like it all just sounds like me.

Even though I’m the mayor… let’s see… the mayor’s wife. She’s like, “Yoo-hoo, Domestic Partners.” And she’s kind of a combination between Edith Bunker and my Aunt Nancy. And all the women have these Michigan accents and all the men, are sort of like this the police officer is like this. I’m just like… I am not a voice actor. I would never be hired to do “The Simpsons” or whatever. But it was a lot of fun because I don’t act anymore. I haven’t acted in anything in over 10 years. And so it was fun for me to actually get to do that and go into a recording studio and wear earphones and have all the thing and the light. And that was a lot of fun.

And I did the second book as well. And then once you’re established that you’ve done it, then they ask you to do the third one. But the third one was probably the most difficult because I had new characters like Fiona and Finn and Ursula, who had been talked about but never seen. So I was like, “Oh, shoot, what does Ursula sound like?” And the parents are the hardest. PJ’s parents are the hardest for me to do because what I usually do is I just hear a voice in my head of someone I know. I always said I was like the male Meryl Streep because I was very good at accents.

So I hear a voice in my head and then I kind of just start talking and I can talk like them. But for whatever reason I cannot hear my parents’ voice in my head. Sometimes in real life I’ll say something and I’ll be like, “Oh my God, I just sounded like my mom.” Or I’ll say something and I’ll be like, “Oh, that’s the way my dad wouldn’t say it.” But when I try to consciously make Peter’s mother sound like my mother, I can’t do it. Can’t make his father sound like my father. So I just almost don’t even think about it. And the voice that comes out becomes the voice.

But then I have to remember it for the next one. “Oh shoot, how does Fairway Bob sound?” He’s from the Upper peninsula, so he kind of sounds Canadian. And so I just say “eh” a lot. But it’s fun and I’m glad that people like it. And I’ve had people get in touch with me and tell me that they enjoy the audio books and they enjoy the narration. I don’t think I’m gonna win any awards for my voice work, but it’s fun. And I think as a reader, if you can have the author do it…

And plus, I’ve written the story. I know it. I don’t have to… if someone said, “Would you narrate this other audio book for us?” I would wanna do it cause I would want the money. But I’d be like, “Well shoot, now I have to read a book and learn a book.” And it’d be almost like learning a script because I don’t know it. And even in my own sometimes I’m like, “Oh my God, I don’t even remember writing this. Or, oh my God, this part is awful. Who wrote this?” Oh yeah, it was me.

Or I’ll be like, “Why did I write that?” Because it’s really hard to say Detective. And then I have this chapter where he is like the police detective and I’m like detective, detective and trying to hit the “ki.” And his name is Paczki which is really Pączki which is a Polish jelly donut we have here in Michigan that’s spelled P-A-C-Z-K-I. But no one in Michigan… If your name was that would pronounce it that way, they would call you “Pac-ski.” So to say, “Detective Paczki” over and over while you’re recording an audio book became a big challenge.

And I actually learned when I narrated the first book, I was still writing the second book and I realized, if you have a line of dialogue where you’re like, “Let’s go to the store, PJ said, because we need to get some milk.” I’m like doing that. This is the character voice and now I have to do the narrator voice and then I have to go back. It’s hard. So instead I started writing, “Let’s go to the store because we need to get some milk, PJ said.” Much easier. So I actually changed my writing style a little bit to make it easier for the narration.

Jeff: Do you like bringing your characters to life that way cause it’s different speaking them than writing them?

Frank: Yeah. The one thing that I’m still kicking myself… So I have a drag queen. I have to talk about the drag queen. She’s the star of “Dragged to Death,” which I’m hoping I get to publish. Her name is Harmony House. And in Michigan years ago there was a record store chain called Harmony House. And so anyone who lives here will know what Harmony House is. Her name is Harmony House and she’s this fabulous black drag queen. And she’s a nineties fly girl cause that’s when she was in her prime. She’s now in her late forties. That was the scene that I read for the audition.

And so I immediately went to Latrice Royale from “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and she’s like, “Tell mama what’s wrong.” And she’s got this really low voice and it’s very slow and it’s this southern drawl. But then I wanted it to be like… and then when she’s not in drag, she just talks in this other voice. So what I probably would’ve done was had her be like, “Oh, I’m Harmony House and have this voice up here”. And then when she’s outta drag, “she talks like this.” But I stamped her with that low voice and I think there was one point where I wrote, “And then she dropped her voice an octave and spoke in her regular voice.” And I’m like, “Well, I can’t get much lower than what she already is, so.”

But it is fun. And it was fun In the recording studio this time around. I had a different engineer. And he was actually in the booth and I could see him and he was like… he’s a DJ. That’s his main thing. And I swear at one point I saw him like counting out the rhythm, almost a conductor as I was speaking, the different tempos. And he wasn’t guiding me, but we had this thing where I was moving around and getting to be all like… and then the other characters affecting my posture. And so it was like acting. I actually got to act. And I don’t sit when I narrate. Right now I’m standing up. I can’t sit. It diffuses all my energy and it’s like any actor, you don’t want to be sitting, especially on stage. You don’t wanna be sitting down when you can be up and on your feet. So yeah, I really enjoyed it.

Jeff: Tell us a little bit more about “Dragged to Death” so that we have an idea of what might be there that can maybe help people know that they need to go buy this book if they want to get to this one.

Frank: Yeah. You need to. If you wanna read “Dragged to Death” you gotta buy “Haunted to Death” cause basically I set up the next book and I’ve already set it up in “Haunted to Death.” They’re at the local gay bar and they run into Harmony House and her drag daughter, Melody Mansion. Melody and Harmony ask Peter and JP if they would be willing to use their celebrity, cause they’re local celebs cause they’re on this TV show, to appear in a charity drag extravaganza to raise money for the local queer youth center. And JP’s like “No, because I’m a serious actor and I don’t perform for free.” He doesn’t say that, but his whole attitude is I’m a serious actor. And I’ve never done drag before.

And Peter PJ is I’m not an actor. I was in a play once because I had to be. But you know, just cause I’m on television doesn’t mean I can do drag. And they’re like, “But it’s for charity.” And he’s well, of course that’s… anyway, they end up caving.

And in the hopeful book four, it starts where they’re going to the first night of rehearsal to meet the drag queens. They learn all about how to get in drag, and how to put the orange makeup on to hide your beard, and how to paste your eyebrows down with glue and all those things. And then they get their characters ,Tempo Tenement and Adagio Atalia, because they’re the House of Houses. And most drag queens I know, if you’re the House of Houses, everybody’s last name is House. But hey, it’s my story and I wanted it to be all their names to be a type of house. So there’s Cadence Condo and Caro Cottage, and there’s one more whose name is… oh whose name is escaping me. Viola Villa, not viola, but viola like the instrument cause I want it to be all music related.

And they get into their characters and they’re having a fabulous time at the charity drag show. And then at the after party, where’s Melody? What happened to Melody Mansion? And then Melody Mansion is found dead in her dressing room, smothered by her own beehive wig. And then Harmony is the prime suspect because they had a fight before the drag show because Harmony has auditioned for “Top Drag Superstar” for the last 10 years in a row and has never been cast. And Melody, the younger, prettier, barely 20 years old, first time tries out for “Top Drag Superstar” and gets cast on the show. And Harmony is livid. And now Melody is dead and it’s who killed Melody Mansion?

So it was a lot of fun to write and I really hope that I can share it. And, worst case scenario, I have to self-publish it. This is where I’ll get serious for a moment. I was so on the fence about writing “Haunted to Death.” My editor came to me and said, “Do you wanna write a book three?” And he even gave me the title, “Haunted to Death.” They renovate a haunted house. And I started to write it and I struggled. And I almost said I… and I was like, “I don’t know if I want to do it.” And then I literally, like four months went by and I didn’t write a thing. And then I just decided to do it. And I did it. And I just got outta my head and I wrote, and then I revised a little bit and then it was done.

And then I started to… I was like, “Oh my God, I’m really enjoying these characters.” So much so that I turned in the third one. And I was like, “Well, I’m gonna start writing the fourth one now because I already have the idea about the drag show.” And I, wrote it and I really enjoyed it. And now, I feel like a TV actor whose series has been canceled and what are they gonna do? Or the writer of the series who has the whole thing written out. I really just wanna share it.

And I actually have ideas for book five and book six and book seven. So I’m hoping. And my editor to his credit said, “We love your writing and we think you’re a talented writer. We would love for you to write something else for us if you want to.” And I was like, “But I don’t wanna start all over again. I’ve got my characters. I love my characters. I know my characters.”

And that is why I always wanted to write a series cause you do, you know. I don’t wanna say you love them, but you love them and you want them to continue and go on and have further adventures. So I really hope anyone who’s read the other books will read the new one. And if you haven’t, but you are even remotely interested, please pick it up and check it out.

Jeff: Yeah. And if you wanna know who killed Melody, you absolutely have to go pick these books up so you can find out what happened and why was she killed with a beehive wig.

Frank: Yeah. Why? What did she do and who did she wrong? And was she really as sweet and innocent as we all think she was?

Jeff: So as we wrap up, we gotta get some recommendations for our listeners. What are you reading or watching that folks should be checking out?

Frank: Well, I don’t read a lot, and that sounds terrible to say coming from a writer. My excuse is because I either think that what I’m reading is better than what I wrote, and I’m a terrible writer. Or I start to steal. But I do wanna mention that I recently did read this book. It’s a cozy mystery. It’s called, “There’s No Murder Like Show Murder” by M.S. Greene. And it’s a first novel by this playwright. And I was asked, and if we zoom in, you can see that I was asked to give a blurb and it actually made the cover of the book. When I saw that I got more this… My name on the cover of a book, I wrote, eh, whatever. My name on someone else’s book, I was like…

And this is a really fun book. If you liked “Rehearsed to Death,” it’s basically set in a small theater in Connecticut and the main character, it’s not a quozy, it’s not a queer cozy, but the main character’s like the costume designer at the theater and they’re doing a production of a…. you’re gonna think I’m a terrible thespian… whatever play this the line, “There’s no business like show business” comes from. And it’s just a lot of fun. If you know anything about theater, backstage drama, the director, and the diva actress, and all that. And I just love this book and I said it’s a bonafide hit. So I really recommend this if you’re looking for a light, cozy mystery that’s theater related.

And I don’t know if you care about what I’m listening to, but I am on an Orville Peck craze right now. I am so obsessed. I don’t know if you or your listeners, viewers, know who Orville Peck is. He’s a openly queer country western singer, the first to be signed to a major record label. Do you know who he is?

Jeff: I only know who he is because a dancer who I follow who was on “So You Think You Could Dance” a zillion years ago, is doing a dance musical in New York that he conceived based on Orville Peck music.

Frank: I’m gonna… oh, here he is… you can’t really see it with the lighting, but he is this beautiful man. He wears a mask and he used to have this fringe on the mask so you couldn’t see any of his face. He’s since taken the fringe off and it’s more Lone Ranger. But not only is he a beautiful man, but his music, it’s just…. Craig and I are not country music fans per se, but I don’t know if it’s because he’s openly queer. He’s gorgeous. He was a Broadway, not literally Broadway cause he was in the UK, but like he’s been on the West End. He was a legitimate actor. And Orville Peck is actually a character. His real name is not Orville Peck.

And if you see him in interviews, he’s just kind of a charming, typical sort of, I’m not gonna say flamboyant cause that almost implies a negative, but when he sings he is got this like southern twang that comes out that just like melts. Like am I allowed to say throw your panties on the stage? Because it’s like we… and we went to see him in concert and I’m not usually into younger men, but I just such… So amazing in what he’s doing. And really it comes down to the fact that I am so in awe of him because, back in my day in the eighties, nineties, you couldn’t be openly gay and be successful and accepted and loved. Maybe you could have, but you didn’t think you could. I didn’t think I could. And so the fact that he is doing this. I’m so in awe of him.

He does a thing every year. He calls it Orville Peck’s Rodeo, where he has three nights at different venues in a town. We are going to Nashville at the end of August to the Orville Peck Rodeo to see him three different nights. He has this whole lineup, including Tanya Tucker. Today we went shopping for western shirts. And I have a Stetson cowboy hat that I inherited from an uncle when he passed. And I just got some Lucchese cowboy boots, which I never even knew what Lucchese cowboy boots were until a few weeks ago when I saw a thing that said Orville’s wearing Lucchese cowboy boots. And I was like, what are Lucchese cowboy boots? And I got me a pair. And I am so excited. And so that’s what I’m listening to. So if any of your audience is familiar with Orville Peck, but don’t quite know Orville Peck, I am saying you must check out Orville Peck.

Jeff: Very cool. So how can people keep up with you online so they could follow what’s going on with this book, how things are going towards the fourth book and anything else? Maybe you post pictures on Instagram of going to this event you’re headed to so they could see you in this cowboy gear.

Frank: Yeah. Instagram is my main social right now. I mean, it links to my Facebook. You can see a video of Craig and I taking a disco dance break as we’re painting our dining room. It’s Instagram, it’s FrankAnthonyPolito. It’s Frank Anthony Polito on Facebook. It’s fapolito on Twitter X, which I don’t use very much. And then, I have a website, FrankAnthonyPolito.com. That is so not updated. But I do say, please find me and please follow me and please… I tell everyone this, if you read the books and you enjoy them or you don’t enjoy them, or you know who the murderer is on page three, or you don’t know who the murderer is, I love to hear from people. I really do.

And I tell so many people. I go to book signings and there’s 30 people and I tell them all, please reach out to me. And I might hear from one. But I just, I love… I like the feedback and I like making new friends basically. And I’m always amazed when someone will read my book who doesn’t know me. Cause people who know me personally, they have to. They have no excuse. they have to. But when a total stranger picks it up, I’m always like, how did you find out about this book? And it means a lot to me and I like connecting with people.

Jeff: Awesome. Well, we’ll link up to all that stuff so that people can find you easily through our show notes. Frank, thanks so much for coming, talking to us about “Haunted to Death.” Wishing for big success here cause I do wanna read how Melody dies and why. So thank you for being here and best of luck with the release.

Frank: Oh, thank you. Thank you again. I do appreciate it.

Wrap-Up

Jeff: This episode’s transcript has been brought to you by our community on Patreon. If you’d like to read the conversation for yourself, check out the show notes page for this episode at biggayfictionpodcast.com. We’ve got links to everything that we’ve talked about in this episode.

And thanks so much to Frank for telling us about “Haunted to Death.” I highly recommend this book for your TBR and hope you’ll give it a go along with the other books in the “Domestic Partners in Crime” series. If you’re into cozies, or if you wanna give cozies a try, I think you’ll really enjoy these a lot.

All right. I think that’s good to do it for now. Coming up next on Monday, August 26th, T. Thorn Coyle will be here to tell us all about their “Pride Street Paranormal Cozy Mystery” series. These books have such fun characters, and I had such a great time talking to Coyle about these stories. You’re not gonna wanna miss this fantastic conversation.

Thank you so much for listening, and I hope you’ll join us back here again soon for more discussions about the kinds of stories that we all love, that big gay fiction kind. Until then, keep turning those pages and keep reading.

Will: Big Gay Fiction Podcast is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. Find more shows you’ll love at frolic.media/podcasts. Original theme music by Daryl Banner.

 

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